Bucket Barbie

Well it’s that time of year…Reflection Time! Another year is ending and a new one beginning. It’s funny how time seems to go so slow when we are at work or doing something mundane, but then we blink, and another year is over! What did we do? What did we change? What significance did we make on the world? As I reflect on the past year I feel like life was one big whirlwind. Last year I just started a job at a car dealership, I was going through a quasi breakup and I was ok...or so I thought. I am not going to spend too much time talking about the past. I don’t know if you know this about me yet. But I kind of over think EVERYTHING! I constantly think of why things happened of what could I of done to change there outcomes, but this year I am going to work on living in the moment.

So I present to you my Bucket List for 2012

1. Open a savings account
2. Join an acting class
3. Make the music I love
4. Start a Disney fund
5. Discover Self confidence again
6. Stop Complaining(as much)
7. Get a Passport
8. Laugh more
9. Make more coffee date with friends
10. Buy a couch
11. Save for a new car
12. Take a weekend trip somewhere in the US
13. Enroll in personal training/nutrition school
14. Make more time for family
15. Help someone else
16. Dance more
17. Go to church more
18. Enjoy the process
19. Live in the moment!

Well that’s for now.

I’m sure I will add on soon!

I’ve managed to not gain weight during the holidays and stay healthy (minus some cookies and such)

I truly believe this is a new start for me and my daughter. I’ve been knocked down several times. Had my heart broken a couple times and been disappointed more than once but you know what, I’m stronger for all of it. So I hope everyone that reads my rants takes a little inspiration from my words. The world is hard but it’s harder alone. So let’s really try to be there for each other this year! Let the negativity fall away, and like I always say make the choice to be better! I look forward to hearing all of your goals too!

And remember those cookies are for SANTA!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!

XOXO

Sarah

A Lone errr?

Afternoon friends!

 Hope your having a healthy and fulfilling week so far. I hope your enjoying all the holiday festivities without overdoing it! I hope you’re making good choices with your health as well as in your personal life. I hope that you’re finding happiness in the small things as well as the Grande ones. I hope your living your life and not just "existing" and most of all, I hope your ok with you. Which leads me to the topic of this Fat Barbie rant.....Alone; this can be an extremely fearful word that instantly makes us feel sad and anxious. Most of our lives are filled with people and things without much “me time”. We run around everyday, from work to the gym (hopefully) and not to mention all the social events, it’s a non stop cycle. Usually we are comforted by people; The ones we love, the ones who make us feel like its going to be ok and even the acquaintances we see on a daily basis like the store clerk of the dunkin donuts cashier (my bff), you get my point. I believe us, as humans love to be around people. I have always considered myself to be somewhat of a loner but I still crave that human interaction. We need people to vent and relate to. Hopefully the people in our lives lift us up but even the ones that drag us down still have a place in our world. So are we really ok, alone? Is there much time in the day that we spend with ourselves? That means no facebook, cell phone, TV etc. How much do we really like who we are? If we are in a relationship, do we put all of our identity and self worth into the other persons love for us? Look, I am going to be real with you. I consider myself to be a strong confident girl. I like who I am, I get along with most people, and I wouldn’t be anyone else in the world but me; that being said, I also kind of suck at relationships. I mean, I am a good girlfriend but I loose myself in the other person. I start off like a tiger but then the slow decline begins and I turn into a harmless kitten (I picked that animal because it’s cute). Little by little I become what I think they want instead of just being who I am. Insecurity and fear seem to take over as well as my fear of losing control, and the “what if’s” seem to sabotage the “what is”. I know we all have our issues but Id like to think we can beat our baggage.

 I’ve come to realize, maybe I am not really ok with me. I say I am, I play the part but when it comes down to it, I put most of my stock in what others think of me. God, I hate admitting that out loud but, acceptance is the first step to change, right? I think we can always be better, stronger, happier, healthy and most of all   more confident in; who we are, what we are and where we are in life. Confidence shouldn’t be about how much money you make or how much stuff you have, it should be the feeling of contentment in oneself. The feeling of “I am ok even if it’s not ok”. Being truly alone with yourself and liking who you are without constant affirmation from others;I am striving for this peace. If my world crashes down around me (which it kind of did) and if there is no one left beside me I am still ok because everyday I make a choice to be better than yesterday

 I am not the best writer and I wish I could express things a little more poetic but all I can say is this... Be ok with you. Be ok with failed relationships, jobs, friends, dreams. Be ok with not being a super model or millionaire. Be ok with your imperfections. Be ok that you’re not always going to feel good. Sometimes you will be lonely and scared. Sometimes you will feel like no one understands. Sometimes you will just want to give up, but don’t because trust me you are wonderful alone. Love every part of you and vow to be better every day. It’s all cheesy but true. We only settle in life when we allow others to control how we feel about ourselves. So make the change today, be strong and keep on moving on!

Happy Thursday... Limit those Christmas cookies!!!!

"I restore myself when I'm alone."

Marilyn Monroe

XOXO 

 Sarah

Fat Barbie: 14th Chance

Fat Barbie: 14th Chance: Hello Loves. I must once again apologize for my sporadic Fat Barbie posts. I haven’t been able to devote as much time to it because of all t...

14th Chance

Hello Loves.

I must once again apologize for my sporadic Fat Barbie posts. I haven’t been able to devote as much time to it because of all the rapid changes in my life.

But now... I am settled in my new place and it is starting to feel like home. I absolutely love where I live. I love that I can walk to almost anything I want; coffee, yoga, parks! It’s amazing! I love my building and I love coming home at night. I wouldn’t have imagined I would be living somewhere I adored; it’s always been places I could “get” until now!  Sometimes life’s tragedies turn into beautiful transitions. I was very restless where I was. I came home and just felt blah. I felt like I wasn’t really “living” my life but mealy existing. I was working, paying bills, but I wasn’t happy. My daughter, Solara is the most important thing in my life and I started to feel that I wasn’t being a good example to her. I want her to be a strong, vibrant, happy little girl.  I want for her to see that her mom is excited about life so that she can immolate what she sees. Granted, this hasn’t been easy for either of us. She is adjusting to a new school and a new place and I’m not going to lie, it has been challenging but I feel in my soul that this is a new start for a better life for both of us.

            I wanted so badly to have a change and boy oh boy did I get it. I believe sometimes life forces us to change when we won’t do it on our own. For instance getting fired or broken up with may seem like a horrible thing but maybe it’s the door closing so that that wonderful window can shine through. Of course let me just say, crappy things happen and sometimes they just plain suck. But no matter what we always have a choice in how we deal with them. Without going in to too much detail I will just say life has been very challenging in the past year. There were times I wanted to give up and raise the white flag but I couldn’t, I didn’t have a choice, I had to keep fighting. I had some very special people that help me fight when I couldn’t (BRAD)

Ok I could seriously rant about this all day but I wont!

Here is my point for the day.

Look for the beauty in the disasters; remember that you can always get up no matter how many times you fall. We all want something to look forward to. We all want to be happy but it is up to us to find that happiness and its important to remember happy isn’t always going to be there, we loose it we find it, we loose it we find it, but it’s always there. Nobody will complete your life but YOU. Am I perfect? NO do I have it all figured out? Absolutely not, but this I know… I’m going to be ok! I can take what life has to offer and I will try as hard as I can to make the decision to be happy.  Emotions are flawed so logic tells the heart what to do when the heart is too weak and the heart tells logic what to do when logic makes no sense (make sense?).

I’m so excited for my new life. New people, new adventures, and a new mindset. It’s never too late for a second chance. What can I say I truly am the eternal optimist J

DON’T EVER SETTLE

DON’T EVER GIVE UP

Oh and…

WALK AWAY FROM THE FRENCH FIRES!

XOXO

Sarah

Turkey Bloat

Thanksgiving…

To some this is the best day of the year, to others, its temptations cruel joke. I should fill you in,  just in case you don’t know this about me... I have seriously food guilt! I am conscious of everything I eat, and I am fully aware of my body at all times and I Google everything, every food, every exercise. Even on Thanksgiving I still feel guilty for the gluttony. I swear it makes me bloated for a week. People think I am obsessed or it’s all in my head but if there is one thing I know, it’s my body. I know what I can and can’t eat. I know when how much and often I can cheat. I know when I am really healthy and when I am not so healthy and most of all I know the positive and negative effects of my actions. If there is one thing I can stress about a healthy lifestyle its Balance. Balance is key! Anything extreme will NOT work long-term! Crash diets, No carb diets, ECT. They work in the short term but most people can not restrict themselves for long periods of time. So in regards to thanksgiving my opinion is to go full on gluttony! The average person consumes 4,000 calories on thanksgiving! That’s right 4,000 calories! We know that 3,500 calories equals a pound so just accept the fact that you’re going to gain a pound or two and it may feel like more because of all the food bloating! There is no reason why you shouldn’t enjoy the holiday but accept the consequences. The real trick, however, is the leftovers. If you are having thanksgiving dinner for a week than watch those pants get real tight real quick. The holidays are meant to be enjoyed but it’s still important to be aware and have “some” disciple. So go stuff yourself, but if you don’t want to pack on those pounds make sure you limit your left over portions.

Ok that being said Id would like to take a moment and list some of the things I am thankful for, Feel free to share some of yours as well!

1. My health
2. My beautiful Daughter
3. My wonderful friends and family
4. My patient,caring,driven bf
5. my job
6. my other job
7. My natural Blonde hair(yes that’s right,NATURAL)
8. my gift of singing
9. My new apartment
10. Gods Grace
11. breath

Happy Thanksgiving my loves

XOXO

Sarah

Homeless Barbie?

Once again I must apologize for my fat Barbie absence. I have been dealing with a lot of personal stress and change. I have always been one who wears her heart on her sleeve and doesn’t hide things. I feel like our struggles can inspire and motive others who feel lost or lacking hope. We all fall on hard times, but what is most important is that we rise from the ashes without to many burns. I believe that if you want something bad enough you can get it. Maybe not everything but if something is in your heart and it’s aligned with what’s meant for you life, you will see it. Now this could turn into a whole fate destiny conversation but I will lightly tread with subject. I have recently gone through a huge transition in my life in where my whole world was shaken. I had to find a new place to live in a very short amount of time and it hasn’t been easy.

Ok before we talk about the present day, let’s visit the past year shall we? In approximately 7 months I have lost a job, an apt and went through three cars! Sounds like a bad country song huh? Oh, and did a mention all this while starting a new relationship! Poor guy! I am sure he thought he was getting involved with this spirited singer chick with all the confidence in the world. Not even a month after we started dating I lost my job and then it was a downward spiral from there. It’s hard to be cute and confident when you feel like a lost mess both financially and emotionally. I should mention he’s been pretty great through this, not perfect, but pretty great and kind of cute ;)

Ok, present day. Moving to trolley sq. Delaware, Two jobs and a horribly ugly van (hey it runs). I feel as though imp being trained by life. Something good is around the corner, I can feel like. It almost feels like I have been through an obstacle course and my prize is right around the corner.Too corny? Sorry I am just a tad happy right now. Last week at this time I was probably in tears, so it’s a nice feeling to feel happy again. I have always kept one thing during all these trials: HOPE. Without hope, life is nothing.

I’m ready for the new chapter in my life. I want to be a great mother to my beautiful daughter. I don’t want to live in the past, but I do want to learn from it and make my future better with the help of family, friends and my main man upstairs.

Now you may be thinking what does this rant have to do with a health and fitness blog? Health is not just about calories and gym equipment.  What’s in your head and your heart can impact your body more than you think. Throughout this whole “moving” (we will call it that to be nice) process, I kept eating healthy and working out. When you are going through a hard time its important to train your brain to remain healthy even if your life is anything but that. Even though my regular gym routine was disrupted, I still found a way to workout. Now that being said I definitely ate some junk to make me feel better, but never in excess. Everything is connected. Mind, Body, Soul. Don’t neglect one or the others will suffer.

I’m going to wrap this up by saying….Don’t ever stop fighting. Don’t ever stop hoping. Don’t ever let other people crush your spirit. Don’t ever let life get in the way of your dreams. Don’t compare yourself to others. And most importantly listen to your gut. Make good choices even in bad situations. I am living proof that you can rise from the ashes with only a few visible scars. I wanted to live in a certain area, find an apt that I loved and could afford and despite all the odds against me, I did it and I am excited about this new part of my life! I hope maybe my story will inspire someone else or at least entertain...

That’s all for now! So TGIF and go take a walk!

XOXO
Sarah

Deck the halls with Eating healthy!

Loosing weight and being healthy around the holidays! Crazy right?

 Why In the world would we want to torture ourselves with all the yummy food that surfaces this time of year? Gingerbread cookies, pumpkin pie, egg nog! The holidays are surrounded by food and it seems unfair to not indulge especially when you see all the skinny people binging on endless amounts of goodies and not gaining a pound. It can be really frustrating when cursed and blessed with a conscious body. By conscious body, I mean a body that is conscious of every drop of food and reacts accordingly. I have found that jealousy is a toxic and useless emotion and no matter how hard I try I am me and they are them (sorry for the poor grammar) Some people have better genes than others so we just have to work with what we got! Whine all you want but its not going to change your body. OK so back to the holidays. Last year around this time is when I really got serious about changing my body. I actually lost weight during the holidays! I ate cookies and thanksgiving dinner but I didn’t over indulge. If you can remain healthy during this crucial time then you are guaranteed to make it the rest of the year. It’s an incredibly empowering feeling to have self control without feeling deprived. So here is my advice. Make the decision today to be healthy and be aware of what you eat and how you feel after. Go to a party knowing you’re going to eat one or two not so good for you things. Give yourself limits and stick to them. You will enjoy what you eat with out all the guilt after. Trust me you can do this! Nothing tastes better than a smaller size and more energy!! As far as thanksgiving goes I say forget all the rules and eat like a pig but November 26^th you better be back on track! I know this is hard and the comfort in us tells us to give in but trust me you will feel wonderful when you learn to control yourself. It’s really very little about food and more about how we feel. I'll give you an example; at work there are always donuts, cupcakes delicious dips and all kinds of goodies on a daily basis. I’m not going to lie, it SUCKS sometimes. I’m like a crack head when it comes to sweets and they are in my face everyday! Yes I indulge on occasion but I do not gorge. Every time I’m tempted to stuff my face with cookies, I think of those 30lbs and how much I don’t want to see those bad boys again! Just remember to be(a)ware, set limits and don’t over do it! Live your life to the healthiest and see how much happier you will be in the long run!

Hope your week is fab!

XOXO

Sarah