A Lone errr?

Afternoon friends!

 Hope your having a healthy and fulfilling week so far. I hope your enjoying all the holiday festivities without overdoing it! I hope you’re making good choices with your health as well as in your personal life. I hope that you’re finding happiness in the small things as well as the Grande ones. I hope your living your life and not just "existing" and most of all, I hope your ok with you. Which leads me to the topic of this Fat Barbie rant.....Alone; this can be an extremely fearful word that instantly makes us feel sad and anxious. Most of our lives are filled with people and things without much “me time”. We run around everyday, from work to the gym (hopefully) and not to mention all the social events, it’s a non stop cycle. Usually we are comforted by people; The ones we love, the ones who make us feel like its going to be ok and even the acquaintances we see on a daily basis like the store clerk of the dunkin donuts cashier (my bff), you get my point. I believe us, as humans love to be around people. I have always considered myself to be somewhat of a loner but I still crave that human interaction. We need people to vent and relate to. Hopefully the people in our lives lift us up but even the ones that drag us down still have a place in our world. So are we really ok, alone? Is there much time in the day that we spend with ourselves? That means no facebook, cell phone, TV etc. How much do we really like who we are? If we are in a relationship, do we put all of our identity and self worth into the other persons love for us? Look, I am going to be real with you. I consider myself to be a strong confident girl. I like who I am, I get along with most people, and I wouldn’t be anyone else in the world but me; that being said, I also kind of suck at relationships. I mean, I am a good girlfriend but I loose myself in the other person. I start off like a tiger but then the slow decline begins and I turn into a harmless kitten (I picked that animal because it’s cute). Little by little I become what I think they want instead of just being who I am. Insecurity and fear seem to take over as well as my fear of losing control, and the “what if’s” seem to sabotage the “what is”. I know we all have our issues but Id like to think we can beat our baggage.

 I’ve come to realize, maybe I am not really ok with me. I say I am, I play the part but when it comes down to it, I put most of my stock in what others think of me. God, I hate admitting that out loud but, acceptance is the first step to change, right? I think we can always be better, stronger, happier, healthy and most of all   more confident in; who we are, what we are and where we are in life. Confidence shouldn’t be about how much money you make or how much stuff you have, it should be the feeling of contentment in oneself. The feeling of “I am ok even if it’s not ok”. Being truly alone with yourself and liking who you are without constant affirmation from others;I am striving for this peace. If my world crashes down around me (which it kind of did) and if there is no one left beside me I am still ok because everyday I make a choice to be better than yesterday

 I am not the best writer and I wish I could express things a little more poetic but all I can say is this... Be ok with you. Be ok with failed relationships, jobs, friends, dreams. Be ok with not being a super model or millionaire. Be ok with your imperfections. Be ok that you’re not always going to feel good. Sometimes you will be lonely and scared. Sometimes you will feel like no one understands. Sometimes you will just want to give up, but don’t because trust me you are wonderful alone. Love every part of you and vow to be better every day. It’s all cheesy but true. We only settle in life when we allow others to control how we feel about ourselves. So make the change today, be strong and keep on moving on!

Happy Thursday... Limit those Christmas cookies!!!!

"I restore myself when I'm alone."

Marilyn Monroe

XOXO 

 Sarah