If you feel it it's real, Right?

Emotions are a very powerful thing, they can literally control your perception of who you are, how others perceive you and how you view your self both physically and mentally. A friend of mine said to me over the weekend that she cant imagine how i wouldn't have high self esteem. I guess i can blame it on issues in my past or being an over weight teen. I could also blame it on rejection issues, past boy friends who have cheated on me,and of course the infamous "Daddy Issues". The thing about emotions are they are totally feelings based. If you feel sad, are you actually sad? If you look in the mirror and see a fat person, does that actually make you fat? I'll give you an example. I went to the beach the other day and not once in my life have i ever feel comfortable in a bathing suit,NOT ONCE! So 40lbs lighter i still feel like an uncomfortable teen. I never liked swimming or the beach simply because of the vulnerability of being exposed in basically what not much different than underwear. I almost envy those big girls out there strutting around in bikinis. (NOT THAT I CONDONE THAT) but to be comfortable in ones skin is a foreign concept to me. My perception of myself is very powerful and it can make or break my whole day. We spend way too much of our lives comparing to one another. Who has a better body, better job, better car etc. What must it feel like to be completely content in who I am, even if ill never have what "she" has. This is something i strive for. Of course we should never settle and we should always want to progress, otherwise, we will become boring and lazy. What I'm talking about it self confidence, that feeling of self. Its ok to have emotions, to be sad or angry or feel ugly once and a while, but its not ok to let those feelings consume you. Take it from me, I'm learning everyday that happiness is a choice. Self Esteem takes work and discipline. We all have a past, we all have our issues but i choose happiness with moments of sadness rather than sadness with moments of joy. Make the choice today, don't let emotions rule your life. No matter how you feel about yourself in this moment, you can change your mindset! So start today! What are you waiting for??