Every cloud has a silver thunderstorm.

Well here is it... My heart out there for everyone to read. I’ve always been candid about my life. I feel like our experiences, painful as they can be, inspire others. It’s not what happens to us that matters, its how we deal with it. We all have our burdens to bear. We all have our inner battles we face daily, even if some of us hide it better than others. As the New Year is upon us many will reflect on this past year, some with regret, some with joy and some with hope for the upcoming year. I feel a little of everything. My life has been like a bad county song. Lost three cars, a job, apartment and a boy friend all in ten months. But this rant isn’t about any of that. Its about one thing we all can relate to; Rejection. We all have been rejected at one point. We all have felt heart break. Most of us know what its like to loose something.

Ever since I was a little girl I dreamed of my prince. I didn’t have many boyfriends when I was younger but I did have a vivid imagination. I always was in love with the notion of love. I used to watch movies and listen to songs and believe with all my heart that it was all real. That one day I would meet a man who would make me feel like a princess. That soul mates really did exist and that love was the strongest feeling on earth. Sparks, fireworks, butterflies; the whole shabang. I think because I had limited dating experience when I was younger I romanticized everything and basically set myself up for failure. Every single guy I've ever dated has either been emotionally unavailable, messed up, or broken up with me. I’m always heart broken in the end and I always feel like it was my fault. Like, if I just did something different they would have stayed. Fortunately I’m learning my pattern and trying to fix it. I was always choosing guys that were fixer uppers so that I would feel like I was the best they could get, knowing in my heart it wasn’t right, yet trying to force it to work out of sheer stubborn will. It wasn’t till a couple years ago that I started dating up. I only went out with people that I saw a potential future with. See here is some truth about me; I pretend not to be a hopeless romantic but I so am. I keep getting my heart broken but every time I meet some one new I think maybe this is my time. Maybe this is the guy. I’ve only really been in love twice. The first time was when I was 28 and the second was just recently. Before those guys I always knew that even though I may have loved them, it wasn’t a real true love because it wasn’t reciprocated. I have this problem... I give away my heart way to fast. I put my whole self into a relationship and when it’s over I feel like I’ve lost my identity. I pride myself on being an individual but I now realize that I worry too much about the other person and neglect myself. What was once attractive about me fades away with my self confidence.

A man loves a woman who loves herself.  A confident self sufficient individual who keeps her own interest. A woman who is secure in who she is, apart from the title of "girlfriend". Obviously men like to be needed but not to be clung to. This balance is something I am still trying to find in my life. I know I am not the cause of all of my break ups but I can try to improve my weaknesses in order to protect my own heart. All we can do with heartbreak is take the lessons leaned, and hope the next time works out. It’s not fair to our future mate to bring our old baggage into the new relationship. It’s not fair to our own heart to keep it broken and potentially miss out on something amazing.

I’m no victim; I am not the only one in the world with pain. I also know that I have amazing things to offer not just to a man but to the world. My mom always told me it’s better to be loved by the right one that liked by a lot. I will never loose hope. I will never be too broken to love again. It’s ok to cry, to feel sad, and to mourn for a lost love. It’s not ok to let that damage you to the point of brokenness.

For this New Year, I want to focus on my music my daughter and being ok alone. Restoring my heart and my mind. Remembering what’s good in the world. Believing in all the magnificent things ahead and learning from each and every experience. It’s never proactive to hold on to bitterness. Hate only breeds negative reactions from the world around you but forgiveness and a positive attitude can go a long way.(and some good friends to support you) When the storm is over and the clouds subside there is a beautiful rainbow, but we would never see it unless we endured the storm. To be honest, I don’t even believe every word I write but dammit ill keep writing them until I do.

Keep smiling

And take a yoga class while you’re at it

XOXO

Sarah

“To fear love is to fear life, and those who fear life are already 3-parts dead.”
-Bertrand Russel

Bucket Barbie

Well it’s that time of year…Reflection Time! Another year is ending and a new one beginning. It’s funny how time seems to go so slow when we are at work or doing something mundane, but then we blink, and another year is over! What did we do? What did we change? What significance did we make on the world? As I reflect on the past year I feel like life was one big whirlwind. Last year I just started a job at a car dealership, I was going through a quasi breakup and I was ok...or so I thought. I am not going to spend too much time talking about the past. I don’t know if you know this about me yet. But I kind of over think EVERYTHING! I constantly think of why things happened of what could I of done to change there outcomes, but this year I am going to work on living in the moment.

So I present to you my Bucket List for 2012

1. Open a savings account
2. Join an acting class
3. Make the music I love
4. Start a Disney fund
5. Discover Self confidence again
6. Stop Complaining(as much)
7. Get a Passport
8. Laugh more
9. Make more coffee date with friends
10. Buy a couch
11. Save for a new car
12. Take a weekend trip somewhere in the US
13. Enroll in personal training/nutrition school
14. Make more time for family
15. Help someone else
16. Dance more
17. Go to church more
18. Enjoy the process
19. Live in the moment!

Well that’s for now.

I’m sure I will add on soon!

I’ve managed to not gain weight during the holidays and stay healthy (minus some cookies and such)

I truly believe this is a new start for me and my daughter. I’ve been knocked down several times. Had my heart broken a couple times and been disappointed more than once but you know what, I’m stronger for all of it. So I hope everyone that reads my rants takes a little inspiration from my words. The world is hard but it’s harder alone. So let’s really try to be there for each other this year! Let the negativity fall away, and like I always say make the choice to be better! I look forward to hearing all of your goals too!

And remember those cookies are for SANTA!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!

XOXO

Sarah

A Lone errr?

Afternoon friends!

 Hope your having a healthy and fulfilling week so far. I hope your enjoying all the holiday festivities without overdoing it! I hope you’re making good choices with your health as well as in your personal life. I hope that you’re finding happiness in the small things as well as the Grande ones. I hope your living your life and not just "existing" and most of all, I hope your ok with you. Which leads me to the topic of this Fat Barbie rant.....Alone; this can be an extremely fearful word that instantly makes us feel sad and anxious. Most of our lives are filled with people and things without much “me time”. We run around everyday, from work to the gym (hopefully) and not to mention all the social events, it’s a non stop cycle. Usually we are comforted by people; The ones we love, the ones who make us feel like its going to be ok and even the acquaintances we see on a daily basis like the store clerk of the dunkin donuts cashier (my bff), you get my point. I believe us, as humans love to be around people. I have always considered myself to be somewhat of a loner but I still crave that human interaction. We need people to vent and relate to. Hopefully the people in our lives lift us up but even the ones that drag us down still have a place in our world. So are we really ok, alone? Is there much time in the day that we spend with ourselves? That means no facebook, cell phone, TV etc. How much do we really like who we are? If we are in a relationship, do we put all of our identity and self worth into the other persons love for us? Look, I am going to be real with you. I consider myself to be a strong confident girl. I like who I am, I get along with most people, and I wouldn’t be anyone else in the world but me; that being said, I also kind of suck at relationships. I mean, I am a good girlfriend but I loose myself in the other person. I start off like a tiger but then the slow decline begins and I turn into a harmless kitten (I picked that animal because it’s cute). Little by little I become what I think they want instead of just being who I am. Insecurity and fear seem to take over as well as my fear of losing control, and the “what if’s” seem to sabotage the “what is”. I know we all have our issues but Id like to think we can beat our baggage.

 I’ve come to realize, maybe I am not really ok with me. I say I am, I play the part but when it comes down to it, I put most of my stock in what others think of me. God, I hate admitting that out loud but, acceptance is the first step to change, right? I think we can always be better, stronger, happier, healthy and most of all   more confident in; who we are, what we are and where we are in life. Confidence shouldn’t be about how much money you make or how much stuff you have, it should be the feeling of contentment in oneself. The feeling of “I am ok even if it’s not ok”. Being truly alone with yourself and liking who you are without constant affirmation from others;I am striving for this peace. If my world crashes down around me (which it kind of did) and if there is no one left beside me I am still ok because everyday I make a choice to be better than yesterday

 I am not the best writer and I wish I could express things a little more poetic but all I can say is this... Be ok with you. Be ok with failed relationships, jobs, friends, dreams. Be ok with not being a super model or millionaire. Be ok with your imperfections. Be ok that you’re not always going to feel good. Sometimes you will be lonely and scared. Sometimes you will feel like no one understands. Sometimes you will just want to give up, but don’t because trust me you are wonderful alone. Love every part of you and vow to be better every day. It’s all cheesy but true. We only settle in life when we allow others to control how we feel about ourselves. So make the change today, be strong and keep on moving on!

Happy Thursday... Limit those Christmas cookies!!!!

"I restore myself when I'm alone."

Marilyn Monroe

XOXO 

 Sarah

Fat Barbie: 14th Chance

Fat Barbie: 14th Chance: Hello Loves. I must once again apologize for my sporadic Fat Barbie posts. I haven’t been able to devote as much time to it because of all t...

14th Chance

Hello Loves.

I must once again apologize for my sporadic Fat Barbie posts. I haven’t been able to devote as much time to it because of all the rapid changes in my life.

But now... I am settled in my new place and it is starting to feel like home. I absolutely love where I live. I love that I can walk to almost anything I want; coffee, yoga, parks! It’s amazing! I love my building and I love coming home at night. I wouldn’t have imagined I would be living somewhere I adored; it’s always been places I could “get” until now!  Sometimes life’s tragedies turn into beautiful transitions. I was very restless where I was. I came home and just felt blah. I felt like I wasn’t really “living” my life but mealy existing. I was working, paying bills, but I wasn’t happy. My daughter, Solara is the most important thing in my life and I started to feel that I wasn’t being a good example to her. I want her to be a strong, vibrant, happy little girl.  I want for her to see that her mom is excited about life so that she can immolate what she sees. Granted, this hasn’t been easy for either of us. She is adjusting to a new school and a new place and I’m not going to lie, it has been challenging but I feel in my soul that this is a new start for a better life for both of us.

            I wanted so badly to have a change and boy oh boy did I get it. I believe sometimes life forces us to change when we won’t do it on our own. For instance getting fired or broken up with may seem like a horrible thing but maybe it’s the door closing so that that wonderful window can shine through. Of course let me just say, crappy things happen and sometimes they just plain suck. But no matter what we always have a choice in how we deal with them. Without going in to too much detail I will just say life has been very challenging in the past year. There were times I wanted to give up and raise the white flag but I couldn’t, I didn’t have a choice, I had to keep fighting. I had some very special people that help me fight when I couldn’t (BRAD)

Ok I could seriously rant about this all day but I wont!

Here is my point for the day.

Look for the beauty in the disasters; remember that you can always get up no matter how many times you fall. We all want something to look forward to. We all want to be happy but it is up to us to find that happiness and its important to remember happy isn’t always going to be there, we loose it we find it, we loose it we find it, but it’s always there. Nobody will complete your life but YOU. Am I perfect? NO do I have it all figured out? Absolutely not, but this I know… I’m going to be ok! I can take what life has to offer and I will try as hard as I can to make the decision to be happy.  Emotions are flawed so logic tells the heart what to do when the heart is too weak and the heart tells logic what to do when logic makes no sense (make sense?).

I’m so excited for my new life. New people, new adventures, and a new mindset. It’s never too late for a second chance. What can I say I truly am the eternal optimist J

DON’T EVER SETTLE

DON’T EVER GIVE UP

Oh and…

WALK AWAY FROM THE FRENCH FIRES!

XOXO

Sarah

Turkey Bloat

Thanksgiving…

To some this is the best day of the year, to others, its temptations cruel joke. I should fill you in,  just in case you don’t know this about me... I have seriously food guilt! I am conscious of everything I eat, and I am fully aware of my body at all times and I Google everything, every food, every exercise. Even on Thanksgiving I still feel guilty for the gluttony. I swear it makes me bloated for a week. People think I am obsessed or it’s all in my head but if there is one thing I know, it’s my body. I know what I can and can’t eat. I know when how much and often I can cheat. I know when I am really healthy and when I am not so healthy and most of all I know the positive and negative effects of my actions. If there is one thing I can stress about a healthy lifestyle its Balance. Balance is key! Anything extreme will NOT work long-term! Crash diets, No carb diets, ECT. They work in the short term but most people can not restrict themselves for long periods of time. So in regards to thanksgiving my opinion is to go full on gluttony! The average person consumes 4,000 calories on thanksgiving! That’s right 4,000 calories! We know that 3,500 calories equals a pound so just accept the fact that you’re going to gain a pound or two and it may feel like more because of all the food bloating! There is no reason why you shouldn’t enjoy the holiday but accept the consequences. The real trick, however, is the leftovers. If you are having thanksgiving dinner for a week than watch those pants get real tight real quick. The holidays are meant to be enjoyed but it’s still important to be aware and have “some” disciple. So go stuff yourself, but if you don’t want to pack on those pounds make sure you limit your left over portions.

Ok that being said Id would like to take a moment and list some of the things I am thankful for, Feel free to share some of yours as well!

1. My health
2. My beautiful Daughter
3. My wonderful friends and family
4. My patient,caring,driven bf
5. my job
6. my other job
7. My natural Blonde hair(yes that’s right,NATURAL)
8. my gift of singing
9. My new apartment
10. Gods Grace
11. breath

Happy Thanksgiving my loves

XOXO

Sarah

Homeless Barbie?

Once again I must apologize for my fat Barbie absence. I have been dealing with a lot of personal stress and change. I have always been one who wears her heart on her sleeve and doesn’t hide things. I feel like our struggles can inspire and motive others who feel lost or lacking hope. We all fall on hard times, but what is most important is that we rise from the ashes without to many burns. I believe that if you want something bad enough you can get it. Maybe not everything but if something is in your heart and it’s aligned with what’s meant for you life, you will see it. Now this could turn into a whole fate destiny conversation but I will lightly tread with subject. I have recently gone through a huge transition in my life in where my whole world was shaken. I had to find a new place to live in a very short amount of time and it hasn’t been easy.

Ok before we talk about the present day, let’s visit the past year shall we? In approximately 7 months I have lost a job, an apt and went through three cars! Sounds like a bad country song huh? Oh, and did a mention all this while starting a new relationship! Poor guy! I am sure he thought he was getting involved with this spirited singer chick with all the confidence in the world. Not even a month after we started dating I lost my job and then it was a downward spiral from there. It’s hard to be cute and confident when you feel like a lost mess both financially and emotionally. I should mention he’s been pretty great through this, not perfect, but pretty great and kind of cute ;)

Ok, present day. Moving to trolley sq. Delaware, Two jobs and a horribly ugly van (hey it runs). I feel as though imp being trained by life. Something good is around the corner, I can feel like. It almost feels like I have been through an obstacle course and my prize is right around the corner.Too corny? Sorry I am just a tad happy right now. Last week at this time I was probably in tears, so it’s a nice feeling to feel happy again. I have always kept one thing during all these trials: HOPE. Without hope, life is nothing.

I’m ready for the new chapter in my life. I want to be a great mother to my beautiful daughter. I don’t want to live in the past, but I do want to learn from it and make my future better with the help of family, friends and my main man upstairs.

Now you may be thinking what does this rant have to do with a health and fitness blog? Health is not just about calories and gym equipment.  What’s in your head and your heart can impact your body more than you think. Throughout this whole “moving” (we will call it that to be nice) process, I kept eating healthy and working out. When you are going through a hard time its important to train your brain to remain healthy even if your life is anything but that. Even though my regular gym routine was disrupted, I still found a way to workout. Now that being said I definitely ate some junk to make me feel better, but never in excess. Everything is connected. Mind, Body, Soul. Don’t neglect one or the others will suffer.

I’m going to wrap this up by saying….Don’t ever stop fighting. Don’t ever stop hoping. Don’t ever let other people crush your spirit. Don’t ever let life get in the way of your dreams. Don’t compare yourself to others. And most importantly listen to your gut. Make good choices even in bad situations. I am living proof that you can rise from the ashes with only a few visible scars. I wanted to live in a certain area, find an apt that I loved and could afford and despite all the odds against me, I did it and I am excited about this new part of my life! I hope maybe my story will inspire someone else or at least entertain...

That’s all for now! So TGIF and go take a walk!

XOXO
Sarah

Deck the halls with Eating healthy!

Loosing weight and being healthy around the holidays! Crazy right?

 Why In the world would we want to torture ourselves with all the yummy food that surfaces this time of year? Gingerbread cookies, pumpkin pie, egg nog! The holidays are surrounded by food and it seems unfair to not indulge especially when you see all the skinny people binging on endless amounts of goodies and not gaining a pound. It can be really frustrating when cursed and blessed with a conscious body. By conscious body, I mean a body that is conscious of every drop of food and reacts accordingly. I have found that jealousy is a toxic and useless emotion and no matter how hard I try I am me and they are them (sorry for the poor grammar) Some people have better genes than others so we just have to work with what we got! Whine all you want but its not going to change your body. OK so back to the holidays. Last year around this time is when I really got serious about changing my body. I actually lost weight during the holidays! I ate cookies and thanksgiving dinner but I didn’t over indulge. If you can remain healthy during this crucial time then you are guaranteed to make it the rest of the year. It’s an incredibly empowering feeling to have self control without feeling deprived. So here is my advice. Make the decision today to be healthy and be aware of what you eat and how you feel after. Go to a party knowing you’re going to eat one or two not so good for you things. Give yourself limits and stick to them. You will enjoy what you eat with out all the guilt after. Trust me you can do this! Nothing tastes better than a smaller size and more energy!! As far as thanksgiving goes I say forget all the rules and eat like a pig but November 26^th you better be back on track! I know this is hard and the comfort in us tells us to give in but trust me you will feel wonderful when you learn to control yourself. It’s really very little about food and more about how we feel. I'll give you an example; at work there are always donuts, cupcakes delicious dips and all kinds of goodies on a daily basis. I’m not going to lie, it SUCKS sometimes. I’m like a crack head when it comes to sweets and they are in my face everyday! Yes I indulge on occasion but I do not gorge. Every time I’m tempted to stuff my face with cookies, I think of those 30lbs and how much I don’t want to see those bad boys again! Just remember to be(a)ware, set limits and don’t over do it! Live your life to the healthiest and see how much happier you will be in the long run!

Hope your week is fab!

XOXO

Sarah

Bored Barbie

Hello!!!
I’m back after a few weeks of no bloggies. I, like all of you get discouraged from time to time. I lose my luster for things and have suffered from a strong case of the blahs in recent weeks. Mind you, I have not fallen of the healthy eating or exercise wagon, in fact I've been better than ever. When I start to feel like i am loosing control of my life, I then go full force with my body because it is the one thing I can control. The mind and the body are so strongly connected it’s almost frightening! If I am feeling a certain way about my life it affects the way I see myself. I literally have days where this immense fear falls upon my thoughts. I have thoughts like this: "What if my recently weight loss was a fluke and I am going to slowly gain it back." Not to mention the frustration of cellulite and other imperfections. All I see is the progress I haven’t made and even though I know most of these feelings aren’t warranted they still have a way of dragging me down. So how can I (we) stop this toxic pattern? When I start to feel insecure it is directly related to how I feel about where I am at in life. If my social life is going well and I am involved in creative type things I feel great, physically and mentally. When things are dull and there is not much going on I start to obsess more about my looks because I am not enjoying life as much. It’s basically just shifting the focus. I believe there must be a balance. I don’t need to be constantly busy in order to feel fulfilled but it is very important to have soul filling activities. Ok, so this just seems like a tangent I know, but there is a point to all this. The point is… Live Well! I’ve said this before and ill say it again! If you do things that make you feel healthy mentally your body will follow suit. I think people struggle with weight because they feel it’s all about restrictions but in my opinion is about taking control. Eat what gives you life and exercise so that you can live well! It’s all simple science! I am learning as I go, people! Fat Barbie is back! I hope your staying motivated even through the struggles!!
XOXO
Sarah

Diet Schmiet

The “diet” controversy; we have all done it. Super Size me with a diet coke. Diet foods and beverages are a big SHAM! Yes I said it, SHAM! Now, that being said I think regular coke is just as poison but the diet stuff is a false sense of security; this is my battle with diet sodas and sugar free stuff. First let me preface this by saying I love me some sugar. Put in Oreo in front of my and watch my willpower disincarnate. I seriously crave sugar first thing in the morning. I, through much discipline and education have suppressed this sugar addiction, but now all that remains is the satisfaction of sugar free lattés and diet sodas. Doesn’t sound too bad, right? Why stop at good enough when I can be better. So I am challenging myself to give up my daily diet beverage and sugar free whatever’s and instead saving this as a treat when going out to dinner or special occasions (which is a rare occasion). I know as some of you read this you may be thinking “This chick is too extreme” But even in my few days of giving up the diet sodas I have realized something; I don’t crave as much junk or salty foods. Who wants chips and water? I have found that my cravings for salty snacks are just not as exciting without the diet drink to follow. So maybe the diet soda won’t make you fat but the things you crave when you drink it certainly are not the healthiest. Here is the deal; I am not telling you have to be an extremist. I believe in order to maintain success; your daily diet has to be feasible and enjoyable. It’s ok to cheat sometimes. It’s ok to drink soda but maybe a regular coke once and a while is better than a diet soda everyday? Think about what you put into you body and how it makes you feel. Here is your challenge; Write down what you eat and how you feel after. This isn’t just for those who want to loose weight this is for everyone who wants to live healthy and feel good. If you are trying to loose weight, try saying “I want to be healthy” instead of “I want to loose weight” Your body is connected to your mind. If you tell your brain what to do, your brain well return the favor for your body. Again, I am no expert this is all from personal experience and research. We are all in this journey together! Weather your big or small or in-between I think we all want to feel good! Hope your week is amazing! Today I want you to do something you have never done before. Break up the routine and let me know how it goes!

Xoxo

Sarah

Dear John letter to my brain

Hello Brain, SHUT UP!  Seriously why must you always being thinking obsessive things that make me crazy!? I love that you make me write songs and have deep feelings..well i guess my heart gets some credit too huh? See there you are making me THINK again. Where were you in school when i needed you? Why do you go in so many directions making one simple decision almost impossible? I wonder what i would be like if you just made up your mind.(pun intended) once and a while. If you gave me a clear and concise vision of what I'm supposed to do with my life instead of scattered remints of ideas i had at some point. I appreciate that you are of the creative sort but sometimes id like to lay my head on my pillow and just SLEEP. You analyze every minute detail of my past present and future to the point of chaos and i just cant take it any more. There must be a way to control you, to make you see things my way..whatever way that may be. I feel as though you are a big bowl of different cereals mixed together making one sugary breakfast that fills the belly but does not nourish. I'm not asking for much, just a little focus sometimes. I imagine taking you out of my head and putting you on my nightstand just so i can get a good nights rest. I love you and i hate you. There must be a way to harness you. You are a just wobbling around in there with no boundaries and id like for you to stop. I want to be in control of my life not the other way around, So in closing this has been fun but i think its my turn to give it a go. Today or shall i say tonight I'm going to choose to tell you what to do, you better listen or ill start taking Tylenol pm and you wouldn't want that would you?

Goodnight my fellow fat barbies put down that midnight snack
xoxo
Sarah

Inspired or Caffeine high?

So this isn’t a rant about food or exercise or even really health. Well maybe mental heath. Ever wake up with this feeling in your belly (no not hunger) that just makes you want to go do something important in the world. I Call it my movie days. The days were I feel like my life has a purpose and i am part of some big script and this is the day my life will officially begin. Usually I feel this way after my coffee...hmm maybe the coffee is the inspiration? Anyway midway through the day i am usually very disappointed when I discover the mundane routine is all the day has to offer. I want to do something big! I want excitement, romance you know the good stuff! I want to be fulfilled to the brim, but all I get is half a turkey sandwich and some diet coke! There must be some purpose to my life. I am a mom, I love my daughter with my whole heart and soul. I have a faith in god that is unshakable. I have a great boyfriend who keeps me in check and have the talent of singing which is pretty darn awesome. I have a job and apt and a horribly ugly van that most young kids would be afraid of, but hey it runs; All of these things I am tremendously grateful for especially since the last few month have been very trying and I am finally rebuilding my life but still there is this pit in my stomach that I can’t shake. Fat Barbie was something I wanted to create for a long time. I wanted to take what I've learned and help others maybe even inspire! This has been such a great outlet for me as well; to be completely candid is kind of therapeutic. We all have our burdens to bear and our issues to share (rhymes) I think the world is hard enough so we should probably support each other right? See how I get so sidetracked? Seriously my mind is like a big bowl of different cereals! Lucky charms mixed with cheerios mixed with oatmeal and coffee instead of milk! Eww... Yup that’s my brain! So maybe I won’t change the world by this blog but if I help a handful of people than it’s totally worth it, Sounds trite to say that but I genuine mean it. As I am even writing this I now know why I woke up with the rumbling in my belly. I am doing something, I am living life and my life does have a purpose. One small thing at a time. So my advice to all you belly rumblers out there, start with something small. Maybe your movie script is right under your nose and you just need see it. Help someone else, we get so self absorbed (me included) that we forget it’s the things we do for others that is truly inspiring. I hope you have a great day, life, purpose! Oh and exercise an extra 10 minutes today!!
XOXO
Sarah

Fat Gym Rats?

Ever notice the people at the gym who are they everyday. They take classes, the sweat, and they keep up with the best of um! You see these people day in and day out but one thing never changes... their weight! I was this person for years and every time I go to the gym i am perplexed by this. I’ve seen 200 lb women kick some booty in class but no results. Do they get pissed by this or what? I’ve been an active gym'ee for over ten years but it’s only in the last year of so that I have learned to understand my body (sorta).
Here are some of the reasons I believe this happens.
1. When we exercise we are hungrier therefore we eat more because we feel we "deserve" it. You do need extra calories when you have an intense work out but the type of calories is key! One brownie can make all the difference between a plateau and breaking a plateau. So if you’re working hard at the gym and you haven’t seen results its time to tweak your diet. Subtract 200-300 cals daily and see what happens!
2. Routine. Routine. Routine. GYM MONANTINY! I was a victim of this for years! I would do weights and the elliptical most days. Even though I did work up I sweat I wasn’t forcing my body to change. Jillian Michaels changed that! I started doing her workouts and it totally transformed my body. Also take classes at the gym, most instructors change their routines weekly. Working out should never be easier but only more challenging, and it is possible to look forward to working out! RE-TRAIN YOUR BRAIN
3. Stress- I'll keep this simple. Stress suck for your body. It can actually cause you to hold on to weight. So find ways to be calm and let go of excess weight

There is nothing more frustrating than working hard and not seeing results, but i am telling you from experience it is possible. I don’t have a hard body, and there are areas that seem impossible for me to tone but I love to challenge myself and hopefully be the healthiest me I can be, I hope you do the same and find what works for you!!

So in short here are 3 tips

1. Tweak your diet- Cut the one snack out you know you don’t need
2. Break the routine-Push yourself to the breaking point, trust me you can do it!
3. De-Stress- life happens, but be gentle to your body and your soul, you deserve peace

Hope this helps
XOXO
Sarah
'

A Day in my belly

Morning is hunger Central in my belly, if you don't eat breakfast then you better start! Think of it as gas in your car. You need fuel to go and you need good fuel not crappy unhealthy fuel. Lunch should be your biggest meal in my opinion. Your the most active and you need the right kinds of food to keep you going! Dinner should be your lightest meal with few carbs. Snacks are your treats but dont go overboard!

Here is a sample day of what i eat
Warning-(this works for me but everyone is different)
Breakfast-Oatmeal with blueberries or a banana coffee cream and one spenda approx. 350 Cals
Snack-Peanuts almonds or Ritz crackers- approx. 150 Cal's
Lunch-Half of a chicken ceasar wrap(dressing on side) Whole wheat wrap if possible
piece of fruit or a side salad- approx 400 cals
Snack-It really varies.. i may have a protein shake or even half a snickers. Don't be too strict or you will never stick to a plan for life. Its ok to have junk as long as its just a lil bit of junk and only once a day! approx 200 cals
Dinner- Scrambled Eggs with soy cheese and raw spinach- Approx 350cals
Snack- Plain yogurt with berries and cool whip and a cucumber- Approx 200 cals
I try to shoot for 1500-1700 cals a day and really watch my sugar and sodium intake
I eat most of my carbs in the morning and mid day and drink TONS of water. My plan is not perfect but it works pretty well for me

Exercise- 4-6 days a week alternating strength training day with cardio days. Try to sweat most days!

Hope this helps.. Feed back is appreciated!!
XOXO
Sarah

2 LB FREAK OUT

Happy Friday Lovelies! I'm going to rant about something very specific today. I don't know how embarrassing this is to admit but here on Fat Barbie nothing is off limits. I've lost almost 40lbs over the past six months or so and i believe i lost it because i let go of my obsession with my weight and just became more healthy. I wasn't freaking out over every piece of food, i was just making better choices, tweaking little things and of course exercising five days a week. The other day I realized i gained 2lbs, Which mind you can be water weight but it still freaked me out. I'm gonna give you a little insight into my neurotic obsession. If i feel as though i gained a pound or two i will try on every single pair of jeans in my wardrobe, then dresses etc, just to make sure nothing is tight and if it is tight i FREAK OUT. Like crying and becoming extremely panicked and depressed. Its very unhealthy behavior and since this recently wight loss i do not have these episodes nearly as much,Until the two pound incident. It took me so long to finally loose this wight and break my five year plateau that the thought of gaining it back scares the crap out of me so bad that i cant even let my mind go there. Ive still been exercising and eating healthy(minus a couple bad weekends..i blame brad for that!) This time i know what works for my body, i know how to eat and what i can and cant have. Basically my metabolism sucks and i have to be conscious of EVERYTHING i eat,  I've accepted this and am ok(sorta) but i hate when i go through this freak out sessions over two lbs! Anyway i don't know if I'm the only one who experiences this but my advice to myself and others is, if you have lost a significant amount of weight and are stressing about gaining it back,DON'T! Take control, TROW OUT YOUR FAT CLOTHES! You have the control of your body, don't make gaining the weight back and option. If you do gain a couple lbs back its ok as long as its not more than five pounds. Give yourself five flex pounds. The crazy thing about my freak out is I'm still ten pounds under my goal weight. We never seem to be satisfied do we? Oh well we are in fact just..Human :)
Happy Holiday Weekend! Don't over due the Cheeseburgers!!
XOXO
Sarah

Jaded Child Joy

Ok, my lovelies. Time to get serious. This is a pure motivational speech,meant to inspire,motivate and ignite! I know each person reading this has something they want to achieve,weather it be weight loss,a new job, learning a skill.(like numchucks) Regardless of what it is, now is the time to start your new adventure. When we are young we are so much more idealistic and impulsive but as time goes on we become more negative and pessimistic. We actually have an advantage the order we get. In our youth we react mostly on instinct and hormones but as we get older and have our hearts broken a couple times,loose a job or five, get too fat or to thin,or some other disappointment we become less and less spirited and more and more disheartened. Every negative experience we go through shapes our perception of who we are and the world around us. Sometimes we break in the hard times and other times we become stronger than stone. Perfect scenario: Maturity with a child like joy and lust for life at the same time staying humble and realistic while maintaining a secure income and being exceptionally beautiful..sounds like a plan right? Well eff that plan! That's not even close to our realities, so what do we do? Think of gold..in order to be purified it must go through the fire to shine. We are much like gold, going though the fire in order to see our true value. So back to what i was originally saying, Dreams.............Realistically you might not be able to be anything you want to be..sorry to burst your bubble but lets face it some dreams cant be a reality. However, there is a spark in you for a reason, take some time to figure out your passion. Revisit your childhood and remember what you loved and why, take your life experience mixed with some realism and come up with a new plan! A plan to be happy and fulfilled with the excitement of a child but the wisdom of an adult! Bottom line is we get one life, its not long, and as easy as it is to say "Carpe Diem" living out that motto is much more difficult. So here's my solution. Take a selfish day, one whole day, write down your dreams,goals, etc. No cell phone, no computer. Just you and your thoughts, by the end of the day i guarantee you'll be inspired!
Happy Thursday! Drink Water!!!!
XOXO
Sarah

Self Steam.

Ever wake up one day and feel like you're hotter than Americas next top model and then the very next day feel like Oprah off her diet(without the fame and fortune)? Is this normal? How can we balance our crazy imbalanced psyche?? I think of myself as two different women;The Sarah that feels confident, positive and inspired and can take on the world with out a second thought. She feels comfortable in her own skin and she smiles all day long. This Sarah is my favorite. But then.. There is other Sarah..Lets call her Sarha. (OK not very clever but its the best i could come up with for now) So Sarha wakes up and she feels fat,ugly,stupid,incompetent and completely invisible in the world. She just wants to be noticed, she is so needy, making the ones around her very drained. Where did Sarah go? This girl sucks! Ok for the record i am not Bi-Polar.. at least i think I'm not. I guess we could blame it on hormones.. and guys don't act like you don't have ugly days! You get your man periods and are more moody than we could ever be.(Love you though) So how can we cope with this multiple personality disorder?? Well i am no expert but i think its ok to be Sarha once and a while, she keeps me in check, she lets my ego stay modest and she reminds me I'm human and that its ok to have "UGLY" days. The thing I'm learning is feelings aren't reality sometimes so lets just learn to embrace, deal with, and move on. Lets face it positive thinking is great but we cant fake it all the time. So be positive, be confident but love the other you too, accept that your not always gonna feel hot and that's ok! There is beauty in the imperfections! Embrace every part of who you are and live to the fullest.. Oh and put down the candy bar and get your butt moving!!
XOXO
sarah :)

Oh, This is Life?

Who am I?
Does anyone still feel like they are waiting for their life to start? My whole life i had this idea of what i thought life would be like. I wanted to meet a man who was head over heels in love with me, become a famous singer and live somewhere cool where everyday felt like i was in this world for a purpose. Well I'm a 30 year old single mom who sings but for little money and lives in the town i loathed as a kid. Hmmm..what went wrong here? In this last year i have learned that LIFE HAS STARTED! No magic man or money will make my life all of a sudden complete. The journey is the life and it never ends, until you die that is.. but thats another story. Internal peace is what i yearn for. No, i have not found my niche in this world but i want to start enjoying the non niche life. There is beauty in every struggle if you look hard enough. The people surrounding you, the experiences you have, and the memories you make are the true "Who am I's" Cliche, yes, i know but Cliches have a point! We all have this idea of who we should be and lets be honest most of us fall short. There will always be someone more beautiful, more interesting maybe even more awesome!(If that's possible) but like my mom always told me "What someone else has has nothing to do with what  you have." So if you are waiting for your life to start..WAKE UP, ITS HERE! Go be a force in this world, believe with your whole heart, don't be afraid to fail! You know that thing in the back of you mind that you have always wanted to do, but something has held you back? Well go do it! We live ONE life! Make it count!!!!! Oh and EAT WELL!
XOXO
Sarah :)

If you feel it it's real, Right?

Emotions are a very powerful thing, they can literally control your perception of who you are, how others perceive you and how you view your self both physically and mentally. A friend of mine said to me over the weekend that she cant imagine how i wouldn't have high self esteem. I guess i can blame it on issues in my past or being an over weight teen. I could also blame it on rejection issues, past boy friends who have cheated on me,and of course the infamous "Daddy Issues". The thing about emotions are they are totally feelings based. If you feel sad, are you actually sad? If you look in the mirror and see a fat person, does that actually make you fat? I'll give you an example. I went to the beach the other day and not once in my life have i ever feel comfortable in a bathing suit,NOT ONCE! So 40lbs lighter i still feel like an uncomfortable teen. I never liked swimming or the beach simply because of the vulnerability of being exposed in basically what not much different than underwear. I almost envy those big girls out there strutting around in bikinis. (NOT THAT I CONDONE THAT) but to be comfortable in ones skin is a foreign concept to me. My perception of myself is very powerful and it can make or break my whole day. We spend way too much of our lives comparing to one another. Who has a better body, better job, better car etc. What must it feel like to be completely content in who I am, even if ill never have what "she" has. This is something i strive for. Of course we should never settle and we should always want to progress, otherwise, we will become boring and lazy. What I'm talking about it self confidence, that feeling of self. Its ok to have emotions, to be sad or angry or feel ugly once and a while, but its not ok to let those feelings consume you. Take it from me, I'm learning everyday that happiness is a choice. Self Esteem takes work and discipline. We all have a past, we all have our issues but i choose happiness with moments of sadness rather than sadness with moments of joy. Make the choice today, don't let emotions rule your life. No matter how you feel about yourself in this moment, you can change your mindset! So start today! What are you waiting for??

Sar robics

Guess what, you will now have a visual inspiration! I will be doing a monthly how to video,explaining simple ways for anyone to start an exercise and diet plan eat and most importantly how to live!!! Think of me as your own little inspirational tour guide! I am by no means a professional trainer but I have lost almost 40lbs and feel I can help those who will listen! I've been in both ends of the spectrum and I know how it feels to be in a slump,to feel overwhelmed or like can't do it,but trust me you can! Start your journey to a healthy life NOW!!!!

WHY FAT BARBIE?

OK!
i should apologize in advance for any spelling,grammar or other mistakes that i will be most definitely be making as i go along..
That being said, you may being wondering why i chose the name "Fat Barbie" Well its a bit of an oxymoron because barbie is not fat and if she was it would most likely be "Regular Size" Our expectations of how we should look are usually so far off from whats a healthy weight. This isn't some cheezy "how to loose 10lbs in a day" gimmick. This is real life, you cant just go on a diet you have to live a certain way to see and keep results. Trust me if i can do it, ANYONE can!
XOXO

Sarah :)

Body Dysmorphia

So I'm in the Acme in my town and i run into this woman i used to work with. She doesn't recognize me because she said I've lost so much weight and then says as she walks away "Don't gain it back." As I'm checking out i have with me a weight watchers yogurt, not because i particularly like WW but because it was a nifty flavor. The cashier says "I hope you are not on WW." In that moment i realize i am not the overweight girl anymore. Although when i stand in front of my mirror all i see are the flaws i still have. Even after going from a size 14 to a size 6 i still don't feel like I'm "In Shape". I guess we never really see what others see because we are too busy looking at our imperfections. I only hope i can enjoy it before I'm old and wrinkly!
I hope my silly little stories about my wieght loss journey can be helpful to those out there fighting the same battle. Our bodies are our temples and its time we start being nice to the temple!